Burn My Shadow
by cluvieldor
Summary: What if Dimitri's and Rose's roles were reversed? After the attack at the academy, the strigoi got their hands on Rose. Dimitri now has to find out what happened to her. Did they kill her? or worse. Turned her. What will he do?  Re-writting it.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first ff ever. Please don't be rude. Helpful criticism is always good. :)  
Rated M, just in case. ;p**

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own anything but the plot. Everything else belongs to the amazing, Richelle Mead.**

_He said to lose my life or lose my love  
That's the nightmare I've been running from _

_To Lose My Life by White Lies_

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He was feeding from him. She was now determined to save him. Slowly and almost soundlessly walked behind the strigoi. She quickly took her stake out and aimed towards his heart-or what was a heart. He moved so quickly the stake pierced his chest. She didn't hit the target but she could buy some time. The strigoi screamed and fell to the floor, his hand on his chest.

Rose had seconds to take him out of there. She wouldn't risk living a life where he was not in it. She grabbed his arms and positioned herself under his arm, dragging him towards the exit. Thank god she thought. She was about to step into the light when a hand yanked her hair.

She groaned in pain and try to shook him off. Dimitri's lazy eyes opened slowly and met his Roza's eyes. She looked at him with loving eyes. Eyes that were never going to see him again. She held his gaze for a split second. An unsettled expression was written in his face as he realized what was about to happen. _I love you_ she mouthed and pushed him outside the cave with such a force he landed on his back and she was dragged back into the darkness of the cave.

The guardians standing outside took hold on Dimitri's arms helping him up. Picture an amateur trying to calm down a fierce starving lion. The lion, in this case, was Dimitri. He cried his love's name "Roza!" and it echoed in the cave. He fought the arms grabbing him until someone knocked him, leaving him unconscious.

The last thing he heard were Rose's cries of agony.

Dimitri was still inside the cave with two other guardians. Rose and the others had been waiting for them to get out. Screw this, Rose thought. She ran inside the caves and followed the screams of Dimitri's. Her heart broke into million pieaces. He couldn't be hurt. Anyone but him. She slowed her pace when she saw the shadowy figure in front, kneeling next to Dimitri's frozen body.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean she's not here?" Janine Hathaway demanded the guardians that stood infront of me. Her emotionless mask had finally cracked at the mention of Rose's action of staying in the cave. The only thing she had dreaded the most, came true.

Dimitri was in some kind of trance. His mind raced through all the moments he had ever spent with Roza. The first practices. The first moment he had actually held her hands the day they bled and he was the one to clean her wounds. The long conversations that had brought them closer and finally, the night in the cabin. The first time they had made love.

He lost precious time with her. He had pushed her away hundreds of times, giving her the same old excuse – the age difference and how they were going to be Lissa's guardian. By now, he didn't care about Lissa. Rosa was the person that filled his thoughts.

"Well she is now strigoi's meal probably." A guardian, whose name Dimitri didn't care about made everyone in the hall glare at him. This new guardian shrugged a should as if what he was talking about was the weather. "It is true. They get them to eat them. We lose them. It's our job anyway"

Dimitri reacted like some primal animal on his way to attack a prey. He grabbed the man's windpipe and lifted him a couple of inches off the ground. He looked directly into his eyes with nothing but hate. "She is no meal. And you better shut your mouth unless you do want to become strigoi's dinner. She risked her life back there for people like you and-"

"Who's no one's meal?" Adrian's voice cut Dimitri's menace and with that he dropped the guy to the floor, leaving him gasping for air.

Janine Hathaway was the first to speak. "Rose. She was..." just then she broke into tears. Finally the words that had being told to her before made their way to her brain and now broken heart.

Adrian's confusion look turned into a look of terror and shock. His little dhampir was unbreakable, you could even say she was bad ass at everything she did and wouldn't fail. But now she had. "You're saying Rose is… dead?" he choked on the last word. He couldn't even bring himself up to say that word and Rose's name in the same sentence.

And so it all began again. They told him how things went back then in the caves. When they finally got to the end of the story, saying how she was brave and had no fear to go back in the caves to save Dimitri, Adrian glared in his direction sending unspoken accusations to him.

It was a constant reminder of how Dimitri had failed in his own promise. He got caught and bitten by a strigoi and thanks to him, Rose was now gone. She had given him a second chance at life, but he did not want a life where she wasn't in it. The emotions he felt –sadness, guilt, anger—were enough to make the wheels in his head start working.

"I'm going back in to see if she's really dead." Dimitri said to no one in particular. That silenced everyone in the room again.

He needed to see if she was really dead. If she was, that would be the end of him. But if her body wasn't in the caves that only meant one thing.

They took her.

Lissa was waiting for Adrian in his bedroom. Christian was sitting on floor resting his back on the bed, Lissa next to him. They had their fingers laced and her head laid between his cheek and shoulder. Since she heard the rumors of the guardians going back to the caves to rescue the moroi and novices, she had been worried to death for Rose.

Christian had spent an hour trying to calm her down and reassure her that Rose had killed many strigoi the night before and knew how to take care of herself. He repeated those worse for, God, he didn't even know how many times. With his other hand he lifted her chin to check on her.

Her eyes showed concern, she seemed older in some way. But still as beautiful as an angel, he thought. He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers and gave her a small peck on the lips.

That small act made Lissa smile. She wanted to get lost in Christian's eyes and lips. She pressed her lips against his to kiss him. His lips were made for hers, she thought. It was God's perfect present. The kiss had deepened and they were lost in each other's mouth but the door creaked as it opened.

Lissa was the one to pull away quickly with a shade of red on her cheeks. Adrian chuckled humourlessly and closed the door behind him. Christian's jaw muscles tighten praying to God to please give him some self control.

"Did they come back? Is Rose outside?" she asked too eagerly and shoot upwards, walking to the door. Adrian was now serving himself some alcohol and sighed as he poured the liquid in a glass.

"Yes and no." he said.

Lissa looked like a beautiful statue, motionless but she slowly turned around to face Adrian's back. "What do you mean?"

He repeated what he had been told like a broken record. "She went back to save that Belikov" he said bitterly. Lissa broke down and was now on her knees sobbing. Christian wrapped his arms around her tightly and rested his chin on top of her head.

"Why are you so damn calm Ivashkov?" Christian asked and if looks could kill, Adrian would be dead by now.

Adrian finished his drink in one sip and sighed. "I have an idea."

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**Sorry. I was feeling uninspired and been busy with uni. I'll try add more stuff to the next one.**

**:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews (:**

**I decided to make this chapter around one of my favorite characters- Adrian. White Shadows by Coldplay inspired me to write the end, by the way.**

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"You got to be kidding me." Christian laughed out loud at Adrian's and Lissa's little "plan," laying back on the chapel's attic's cold floor, his fingers interwined beneath his head.

Lissa knelt on the floor next to him, poking his side with her delicate fingers. "Christian, this is serious."

Christian looked back at his girlfriend. She was more than beautiful in his eyes. An ocean was nothing compared to her gorgeous eyes. Eyes that he'd get lose into every time he met her gaze. Her platinum blond hair was braided but she missed a few strands of hair. He raised one of his hands to brush the strands of hair behind her ears, caressing her cheek so softly it made her smile shyly.

"Fine. Break it down, again."

Adrian who was sitting on one old dusty chair, his arms crossed in front of him, tried hard to ignore the couple in front of him. He had never envied anyone, and now, not only did he envy that Belikov guy because he was the one to get Rose's attention, but now these 2 love birds couldn't keep their hands to themselves and kept showing off their love to everyone in the room. And he was the only one besides those two.

"Want me to dumb it down for you? Ok. You get some nap. I try to show Lissa how to walk dreams, yours, -and sorry in advanced Lissa, who knows what disgusting things he dreams of- then when she's ready we'll try and reach Rose." Adrian didn't even stop to catch his breath until he was done.

Christian glared up at him. "You don't have to dumb down anything for me, that's how people treat an alcoholic in the first place."

Lissa looked back and forth between them two, tired of these kinds of arguments, she sighed and rested her forehead in the palm of her hand. "Please guys, you're not helping with this bickering you have."

Her boyfriend cursed under his breath as he sat up and pulled her into his arms. "Sorry. Okay, so why me?"

Adrian was getting impatient with Christian, how slow can a person be? "Because a) nobody's supposed to know what Lissa can do in the academy, b) Lissa is new to this, so she has to be near someone in their sleep; if we do it with someone else, how are we going to explain she's being a creeper? And last one, your one of Rose's close friends so do it for her."

"What about you? Aren't you dating her anyway? Why can't Lissa try in your head?"

Adrian just wrinkled his brows together and the corner of his lips pulled up in a smile, he must have thought something was amusing.

"Scared we see your dirty mind? Anyways, Can you do what I can do? No, you can't. The only thing you're good at is shooting fire, good for cooking, which comes in handy at any time, but since she's not trying to boil water you're not... useful." he grinned at Christian, who had his fingers curled inwards into fists.

The room was filled with testosterone all of the sudden and Lissa quickly stepped in the argument. "Will you help me? Please?" she asked him with sad puppy eyes, something she knew of always worked. She refused to use compulsion on him, she had already hurt him by doing that to other people before.

"Okay. But I'm not tired." His eyes softened as soon as he looked at her.

Lissa chuckled nervously and her hand went to one of her pockets her dress had. She pulled out something, which was inside her fist, and took his hand in hers. She opened her hand, dropping three pills on his palm and prepared for the next argument she knew was coming.

Christian's brows shot up which made the lines on his forehead creased. Adrian tried hard not to laugh at his reaction. "You're going to drug me up, huh?" Christian asked out loud, still looking at the pills.

"Just sleeping pills, honey." Lissa answered, her voice so soft but was hiding the anxiousness she felt inside.

"You want me to get into comma or what?"

"You sure as hell complain like a girl. Are you sure your real name is Christian and not Christina?" Adrian asked, mocking him.

Something smelled like smoke. Adrian scrunched up his nose a bit and sniffed the ffair, whipping his head to his left and right, but nothing was burning around him. Unless it was...

"Christian!" Lissa yelled at him as she saw the chair, Adrian was sitting on, slowly turn a bright reddish orange, he was controlling the flames tho but not for long. Adrian quickly got up and stepped away.

"Are you insane, you freak?" Adrian screamed. Something that was so rare coming from someone who you always saw as a passive-mellow guy.

"Not good for anything, you said?" Christian smiled at him like the devil. But it faded as soon as Lissa got up and walked to the door. "Wait. Where are you going?"

"Unless you're going to stop being so immature and want to help me with this, then, I'm going somewhere farfeom you." she said dryly, her back to her boyfriend.

"Me? Immature? He's the one who's messing up with me!" Christian snapped and stood up, following her. He reached her and spun her around, his arms going instinctively around her, not letting her go away from him. "I'm sorry."

She looked up at those sad blue eyes that made her weak. She hated fighting with him but she hated this more, because even if he didn't have the power to use compulsion on her, she would do anything for him and forget everything when she stared at his perfect pale blue eyes she loved so much. She leaned up and kissed his lips quickly before saying "Ok. Now get some water and lay down."

Christian chuckled tiredly and grabbed the glass of water Adrian handed to him. He wondered when he got it but shook it off. He slipped two pills in his mouth, took a sip of water and swallowed them. He made a face of pure disgust and whistled. "Those taste disgusting. I better get paid for this." he said to no one in particular.

Adrian snickered at his comment. "Oh, I bet you will. Right, Liss?" he said, kicking a pillow in his direction.

Lissa's cheeks turned into a soft pink and bit her lips trying to contain a smile. She laid a blanket on the ground and the pillow on it in a matter of seconds. She knelt down again and patted the orange-ish blanket that was on the floor. "Now, come on."

Christian sighed and laid down on the blanket. His head resting on the soft pillow that was screaming for him. He yawned, already feeling the effects of the pills. He opened his mouth to say something but a delicate finger was pressed on his lips before the words came out. "Shhh." he heard Lissa whisper.

His eyelids felt heavy and he blinked a couple of times before he soon fell asleep.

Adrian sat across from Lissa, next to Christian's unmoving body. "Okay so what now?" Lissa asked eagerly, not taking her eyes off from her lover.

Adrian rubbed the back of his neck with a hand and looked at Lissa's worried face. "He'll be fine. Just focus on his energy."

Lissa looked up at him in confusion and repeated his words in a question.

"You already know how to read auras, just focus on his. Get lost in it, I don't know. Close your eyes and think of him, of being inside his head, of creating the dream." he replied.

Lissa nodded her head and shut her eyes a little too tight, it made the bridge of her nose wrinkle. Adrian found the picture that sat in front of him cute and chuckled. "Relax, or else it won't work."

The images of the fight that happened a few days ago replayed in Christian's mind in perfect detail. He was fighting next to Rose, well not fighting, just setting people on fire, or more like evil creations of the devil on fire. The dream was too real, he felt the adrenaline pump in his veins. He was helping Rose with the strigoi and questioned why no one in the academy had taught the fire users to do this, hadn't they used their magic before against them?

Someone caught Christian's attention and he stayed in his place. It was Lissa. In the middle of the figth and she wasn't moving. He screamed her name and ran in her direction, as soon as he reached her, the dream became blurry and be heard someone laugh. Adrian's to be more specific.

"Where's Lissa?" Christian asked, he wanted to tear Adrian apart but Lissa's voice kept coming to his head.

"She's trying. Don't worry." Adrian replied and glanced around Christian's dream. He saw every face of the strigoi in the academy and he then spotted Rose's frozen body with stake in hand. His eyes were glued to the picture.

Christian frowned in confusion. What was Adrian so focused on? He followed his gaze and found his answer. Rose. He turned around to face Adrian again, who was lost in his own head. As much as he wanted to make fun of him right then, he understood him. If anything happened to Lissa, he would be in his shoes. Lost, hopeless, feeling nothing but emptiness in himself.

"Why don't you do it?" Christian asked.

Adrian snapped out of his reverie and raised a brow in confusion. "Do what?"

"You know, walk into her dreams. Why are you teaching Lissa?"

"Oh, that." Adrian smiled sadly and looked back at Rose's image. "Because it doesn't matter how much I love her, she would never listen to me and tell me if she's fine or where she's at. But if Lissa or that Belikov, asked her to do something, she wouldn't even think about it twice."

Christian could hear Adrian's disappointment and sadness in his tone. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. He didn't know what to say to break the silence that was now between them two. Several moments passed and still, no one dared to say anything.

Just then the scenario around them changed into an amusement park and Lissa appeared behind them, showing off her perfect white teeth in a big smile, clasping her hands. "I did it! Did you guys-" she stopped as she sensed the awkwardness in the air. "Did I miss some thing?"

Adrian grinned, hiding what he really felt behind the mask he always carried around. "Nah. Your boyfriend's dream here are kind of wild. Just that."

Lissa gaped at his boyfriend and punched him in the arm, not wanting to hurt him in any way. Christian laughed and rubbed the spot Lissa had punched. "What was that for?" he asked.

"Wild dreams? Really?" she joked, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting her forehead against his chest.

Christian returned the embrace by holding her tighter and kissing the top of her head.

Adrian looked away, trying to hold back the tears that were attempting to escape any time soon. It might have been a dream, but it didn't matter, dream or reality, he wanted Rose, he loved her. He wanted her to want him back, but now she was long gone and he was clinging on false hopes because he didn't know if she had made it. He reasurred himself that she was alive and well, because if she wasn't, he would have to face what a broken heart really felt like.

And with Rose's image in his mind, he snapped out of Christian's dream and back to his own body. He wiped away the tear that had made it's way down his cheek. He stood up, not looking back at the happy couple and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: ****I'm glad people like my story. I never thought people would actually read it. (:**  
**  
I apologize in advanced if I spelled something wrong in the story, I'm typing like crazy haha.**  
**Anyways, I think you should listen to the next songs while reading this chapter. c:**

_Intro_ by The XX  
_Set the Fire to the Third Bar_ by Snow Patrol  
_Nothing to Give_ by White Lies

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Rose's stomach growled a bit too loudly. They hadn't given her any food since they arrived here-a mansion the size of St. Vladimir's but with no houses in sight, just empty warehouses. The blond guy, the one who had caught her in the caves had been feeding from her since they got in the plane.

Her body was weaker but she waited anxiously for him to come back. It was stupid she knew, but the endorphins had numb her down. He asked her everything about the princess, St. Vladimir's and the court's weak points. She had refused to answer and his hand connected with her cheek in a slap every time she wouldn't answer.

Before he left the room he had told her he was going to awaken her next time he came through those doors that were made of hard wood, but seemed more like hard iron to Rose. She had tried to break everything in sight but the only things that she was able to destroy were the pillows. Rose accomplished nothing but exhaust herself even more.

Her back was on the wall next to the bathroom's door. She slid down until she reached the cold floor. Her arms were crossed, elbows on each knee, and her forehead resting against her weak arms.I rather be dead, she thought. She hadn't heard from Lissa since the rescue mission and that was 2 nights ago, so Rose did what she hadn't done in a while since the little Lissa/Christian accident. She slipped into Lissa's mind one last time.

There were rumours going around school that Rose had become strigoi already. Just perfect, Rose thought. Lissa was furious but did her best to remain calm and ignore them. There were no classes today, people at the academy were doing memorials for those lost guardians and moroi that had suffered and killed by strigoi's hands.

Lissa was in Rose's room looking for her friend's stuff to keep. She wanted every little thing with her, even if it seemed stupid or useless, they were a small part of Rose. Of her best friend. The moment you walked in the room, you could tell it was hers. Most of the rooms in the academy had their own personality, and Rose's room was no exception.

There was a mess in the floor that was near the closet, clothes that had met a tornado and ended up there on the floor. But a black guardian uniform was hanging neatly on the closet's door. You could tell it was Rose's room because of that. Because being a guardian was one of the most important things to her in the world, she wanted to protect Lissa more than anything. Ever since Mason's death, the only thoughts that crossed Rose's mind were to avenge him and kill whatever strigoi crossed her path.

Lissa sat down on Rose's chair, her fingers running through the desk as if to remember every little detail of it. There were pictures of Rose and Lissa when they were only toddlers. Pictures of them growing up. If you saw the pictures the only thing you would think would be "they're like the yin and yang", it depended on how you looked at it. On looks, they were different. Lissa had platinum blond hair, pale skin, skinny body and jade green eyes; and Rose, she had brown long hair, her skin was a bit tanned since she could walk around in day unlike her friend who could only bare that for a couple of hours, brown eyes, and had curves and strength in her body. But they were like soul mates, they understood each other, they knew each other so well that it didn't matter the bond they had since the accident, there was a deeper bond that connected them throughout all their childhood.

Rose had protected her for years, but now it was her time. Lissa would try to find Rose. She had a feeling Rose was okay. And for a moment, she felt relieved and that's how she managed to go through her stuff not breaking down at any moment.

After she had gathered a few of Rose's personal stuff, she headed off to the gym. What is she going to do? Rose wondered. As she got closer to the gym's doors, she could hear objects being tossed around, screams and grunts and felt scared. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she pushed open the door quietly and the sounds only grew louder, she blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't imagining anything.

Dimitri was standing in the middle of the big room, wearing black sweatpants, white sleeveless shirt and his training shoes. Dummies were scattered across the gym, missing body parts, the foam was out of their chest. Lissa covered her mouth to hide her shock and stared at Dimitri, who had knelt down on the floor, his hands around the dummy's neck, his fist going directly to it's torso several times. He was grunting, lost in his mind, in his world it only existed him and this dummy.

Lissa walked slowly and quietly as a cougar to Dimitri's direction. Dimitri hunched over the dummy and his back was shaking. Lissa came to a halt, 10 feet away from him, and listened carefully. Dimitri was crying, his hands went up to his face to protect himself from the world outside. Rose's heart shattered into a million pieces in that moment. She had never seen him, her lover, sobbing so bad. She had never seen him cry at all.

Lissa cleared her throat slightly, somehow, she had lost her voice. Dimitr's back tensed but he didn't move from his spot. "Dimitri?" she asked shyly.

He recognized her voice, he knew she was the Princess Dragomir, but still he didn't move an inch. Lissa headed off to Dimitri's and she sat down on her heels, next to him. His shoulder length hair covered his face, she didn't know how he looked like, but she knew he must've looked terrible since there was a spot on the floor that was covered in water- but she knew that the small pond infront of him was made by his tears.

"Dimitri... Is something wrong?" she asked and stretched her hand to brush the hair from his face. Rose craved to touch him, to hold him, to see his handsome face. But Dimitri grabbed Lissa by the wrist before she was close to touch him. "Don't" he managed to whisper.

His grip was strong around Lissa's frail wrist and she squirmed her arm free. She held her wrist close to her chest, her other hand rubbing the spot it hurt. She wanted to break his neck, but she knew that was impossible and that the reason he acted the way he did was because he didn't want anyone to see him in his most vulnerable state. "It's about Rose, isn't it?" she found the courage to ask.

Dimitri sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and dried his tears off very lightly before finally looking up to meet Lissa's jade green eyes. Rose's breathing stopped the moment she saw into his dark brown eyes. His eyes reflected what Rose felt. Longing. Heart break. Lost love. They were puffy but Lissa didn't comment about it. Instead, he was the first to break the silence that had formed the second he looked at her. "I feel like I've failed everyone. You. Rose's mom, Janine. Rose. Me." he stared back at the floor, raising his fist up to his forehead, his knuckles had bruises from hitting the dummies, and let out a big breath.

"It's no one's fault." She assured him. With a shaky-nervous hand, she placed it on his back to show comfort. She felt him tense beneath her palm. "Rose would do anything to save anyone she loved. And she saved you." She hoped that made him feel better.

But no. He sniffled a bit, not letting himself cry in front of her. "I know that. That's what I hate. I was supposed to get her back, but they wouldn't let me." He paused. "I loved the sound of her voice, her laugh, the tone of sarcasm she always injected in her words. I could handle losing her if that was the last sound I heard, but I can't. Whenever I close my eyes and get lost in my own thoughts, all I hear are her screams. I should have gone back for her."

Rose wanted to go back into her body but for some reason she couldn't. It may have been that curiosity won or maybe it was that she wanted to cherish every minute with him, even if it meant to be through Lissa's eyes.

Lissa gave his shoulder a small squeeze. "I miss her too. But I think she's fine. Rose is a fighter, do you think she would let any guy-strigoi or not-manhandle her and hurt her? I doubt it. I just hope she escaped them. Adrian will try and talk to her later, through her dreams, of course." What? Rose asked to no one.

Dimitri lifted his head up and gave her a sad smile. "I know that Rose could make it. But people here, including her mom, are acting as if she's already dead. Something tells me she isn't. I want to find her. I _need_ to find whoever took them and hurt them just as bad as they'd hurt everyone that cared and loved Rose. They need to pay."

Rose couldn't bare it anymore and pulled herself out of Lissa's head. Saving Dimitri was probably one of her best yet wrong decisions. She gave him a second chance at life, she wanted him to live because she knew that if he died, her heart would go along with him. But now that she basically traded her life for his, he was in one of the greatest pain. And she hated to be the cause for it. Rose blamed herself for everything. She was laying there on the cold ground, just waiting to die with open arms. Guilt. Frustration. Sorrow. Those were the only emotions she now felt.

She stood up on shaky legs and walked into the bathroom. She flicked the lights on and squinted, letting her eyes adjust to the bright light that was in front of her, above the mirror. She stepped closer to the sink to look at her reflection in the mirror and gaped at it. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Dried blood on both sides of her neck. Greasy hair. "Gross" she said to herself.

She stripped off her clothes and took a quick shower. Making sure to scrub off the blood from her skin, rub shampoo twice in her head and let the water remove all the dirt from her.

Rose walked out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry herself. After that, she wrapped the towel around her body and walked back into her room. The girl, Nathan treated like a maid, had left some new clothes and underwear on the bed's foot. She snatched the underwear, putting in on and slipped the blue dress on her body, letting the towel on the floor.

She ran her fingers through her hair to remove some knots as she sat down on the king size bed. She glanced around, muffling a yawn with her free hand, and nothing had changed. She shifted on the bed, making herself comfortable and curled into a ball under the sheets.

In her dream she was back at St. Vladimir's academy. Heading to another morning practice with Dimitri. Something that made her smile so big. She ran up to the doors and pushed them open to meet the 6'4 moroi.

"Oh God. Not you." she complained. Not that she wasn't pleased by the little visit, but it was her dream, and the only person she wanted to see for the last time was Dimitri.

The setting then transformed to the lodge where they had first met. She whipped her head to one of the windows and saw that there was a blizzard outside. Her skin shivered from cold. She smiled lightly, remembering how they met met but the moment was now shadowed by the reminder that when they had gone for the ski trip they had lost one of her best friends, Mason. "Well this is romantic coming from you, Ivashkov."

Adrian, who was wearing dark clothes, stepped closer to Rose. He took her hand and stared at it. "Where are you, little dhampir?"

She wanted to take her hand back. But she missed his warmth. She missed being held by someone who cared about her and vice versa. "Here, with you. Isn't it obvious." she said with a tone of sarcasm.

Adrian lowered his face to meet her gaze. His eyes flickered for a second to her neck, looking at the bite marks. A million questions ran through his head in a matter of seconds but decided to voice none of them, that wasn't important right now.

"Where did they take you?" he finally asked.

"Looks like Dracula's mansion to me. It's kind of isolated, there's nothing here but trees and a few empty warehouses. The people that Nathan took me to Nathan's little friends speak Russian."

"Russian? What is it with you and these people?" he rolled his eyes dramaticly.

She glowered at him. "Dont even start. Anyways, why did you come here?"

Adrian smiled sadly at her, one of his hands cupped her right cheek, his thumb brushing slightly her bottom lip. His eyes were on her soft pink lips. Lips he longed to kiss and touch in reality. He felt her smile against his hand and his smile grew a little bit. "I needed to know you were okay."

Rose's eyes were lost in his green eyes, she studied them carefully. She had never seen the bit of strays of gold near the iris. She then looked at the rest of his face, memorizing every millimeter from it. If she was going to die, she wanted to remember Adrian. Her eyes were on the verge of tears and felt a lump in her throat. Rose hugged Adrian's torso tightly, not wanting to wake up, she just wanted to be held by someone. And she did.

Adrian's arms went around her, returning the embrace. She buried her face in his chest and mumbled something to him, he wasn't paying attention but pulled away just enough to see her face. Rose was crying. He had never had to face a girl crying, he'd always been drunk enough to ignore her. But he couldn't ignore Rose. He wiped away the tears and smiled lightly at her. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip and shook her head. She breathed slowly to calm herself down. "Want to know something funny? As a guardian, they never prepare you for goodbyes. They never tell you how to face someone you love deeply and tell them to get away from you and never see you again."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, not knowing where this was heading to. And sure he wasn't going to like it.

"Me, silly. I'm asking you a favor and I hope you will do it" she waited for his answer, which was only a nod of his head. "I'm asking you not to look for me. Tell Lissa I tried to protect her and I will not stop, unless she tries to find me, which is why I'm telling not to-" she raised a finger to his mouth which was going to open to protest, but she didn't have time. Who knew when would Nathan come to get her? – "not to look for me. Tell Christian I always knew he was good for Lissa and I hope he can protect her from anything evil. Tell Dimitri…" she couldn't even finish the sentence without tears emerging from her tear ducts.

"Tell him that I will always love him and remember him. Promise?" she smiled sadly up at him. Adrian was confused, hurt, mad and broken inside. He whispered a yes, trying to hide his disappointment.

Rose chuckled softly and placed both of her hands on his cheeks, leaning up on her toes to take a good look at him. "Don't think I forgot about you. I'm sorry Adrian. I'm sorry I couldn't love you back the way you wanted me to, but don't forget that you'll always have a place in my heart. And I love you." She pressed her forehead against his.

Adrian felt the tears he had been holding back, rolled down his cheek. How could Rose be doing this to him? Why now? Just…why? He kept asking himself. He leaned in to let his lips touch hers for one last time, if this was really the last time. He didn't expect Rose to kiss him back, but she did to his surprise, she kissed him back just as softly and caring as he had kissed her.

Rose didn't want to say good-bye to him. There was no "good" in this last reunion. The only thing good that would come out of this is that the messages would be sent and she would protect Lissa even after she died. She would refuse to use the word "awaken" because she had planned to kill herself if she became one of them. She wouldn't join them. Not now, not ever.

"Rose, I love you, you know I do. But I can't promise that I'll-"

And it all disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Her eyes shot open at the pain in her neck. Pain only fangs digging into your skin could cause. She tried to push him away and fight, but she was weak. That had been his plan. No food to her, drink from her like there was no tomorrow, slapping her anytime she refused to do something. All of that just to get to this point. But it didn't matter how hard she tried to free herself away from him, because the endorphins were doing their magic and she relaxed. She let out a soft grunt escape her lips. A grunt of pain, of hate… of pure joy and pleasure.

Nathan had one of his hands tangled in Rose's brown long hair and the other one on her chin, he kept pressing his fangs deep into the soft flesh of her neck, even tho it couldn't go further unless he yanked a piece of flesh from her.

People say that when you die, the happiest moments of your life go right before your eyes just like in movies. They don't tell you how painful it really is. Not physical pain, but emotional. They never say how heartbreaking it is, knowing you will never see your loved ones again. Knowing you will never hold them, hug them, kiss them or tell them how much you love them. You'll never do that. Rose tried to remember in great detail all of her greatest and most cheerful moments she had, but none of that came to her.

She only saw the room turning black with little stars showing up and disappearing, leaving more blackness behind. Nathan was sucking the life out of her. And she was enjoying it. This was unexpected. She never thought it would be this blissful and peaceful. She didn't want this. She didn't want any of this. She regretted the moment the guardians had decided to go to the caves to bring their people back. She didn't know why she was paying for their mistakes. But she couldn't change the past, and her lover was safe. She regretted all the times she hadn't told Dimitri how much she really loved him.

None of that mattered now. The last thing Rose saw in her eyes was the love of her life being held by 2 sets of strong arms, his face showing nothing but panic and horror, the image getting smaller and the light from the outside world turning low as her body was being dragged back in the cave. That's the only image that ran before her eyes before she finally succumbed into the darkness and fell into it's deepest hole.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews :)**  
**Sorry if I haven't updated soon, I just got distracted and had a mess going on in my head with this story lol. So any ideas are always welcome.  
**

_After the storm  
Had passed _  
_I wondered how long  
The break in the clouds would last_

_Grace _by Kate Havnevik  
_Saw Something_ by Dave Gahan

* * *

_You'll always have a place in my heart and I love you_. He repeated the words Rose had said, over and over and over again in his head. She had said the three words he longed the most. Maybe she had said it in a friendly way, maybe not, it didn't matter to him. But it was too late, she wasn't here. It was around 6 in the afternoon, the sun now hiding away in the horizon, and Adrian stood outside in the yard, his back against one of the brick wall next to the building's entrance, surrounding himself by the soft breeze in the air and the sound of crickets from far away.

Ten minutes ago he had spoken to Rose. He was missing her already. He had all the money he wanted, he could have whoever he wanted and whatever he wanted at his feet. Apparently, love wasn't in his cards. Because what he wanted was Rose. Her love. Her affection. But his past had hunted his present and he was now paying for all of that. The moment he mentioned his last name, Rose had refused to give him a chance. And  
now she had told him she loved him. Adrian chuckled humorlessly at that. No one had loved him. His father only cared about pointless politics and meetings. His mother cared about their reputation and place in the moroi world. The only person who showed him any kind affection was his aunt Tatiana, the Queen. Although she had some sort of affection from her, that wasn't the affection he wanted and he was sure as hell he did not want that kind of love from his aunt.

He shook off those thoughts and lit the fifth cigarette of the day, lifting it up to his lips and took a drag of it. Adrian only did this to relax, because of the side effects of being a spirit user. But people didn't understand and didn't want to. He exhaled the smoke through his nose and flicked the ashes off his cigarette.

"Adrian? God, I've been looking for you all day." Lissa's voice startled him for a second. He smiled at her, dropping the cigarette and stomping his right foot on it to put it out. Adrian hadn't forgotten his promise to Rose. He didn't say 'I promise you' but it was Rose, he'd give her and do whatever she wanted him to do. He needed to tell Lissa what Rose had asked him to do.

"Here and there. Everywhere." he paused, looking up at the now black sky with just a few stars that dazzled in the dark sky. "I talked to Rose."

Lissa gaped at that, this was a pleasant surprise and couldn't contain her wide smile. She moved towards him almost instantly, the fingers of her hands curled around his biceps, lightly shaking him. "Really? Is she okay? What did she say? Where is she?"

He looked back at her with sad eyes. How could he break the news? How could he answer her question without making her cry? Something he knew for sure was going to happen, because that's exactly what he did before. Except, in his case, it was Rose herself who told him not look for her, he basically cried a river for her, he tried to beg her to stop saying nonsense and tell him already where he was. But just like every other time, she ignored him.

"She told me to tell you that she was sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she asked back in confusion.

He searched for the words in the mess he had going on in his mind. He tried to say the right words in a very subtle and gentle way. "Rose isn't coming back. She wanted you to know she loved you, and that it would be the best for you if you didn't try to find her."

The words felt like knives being slashed directly into her skin, she felt every stab, not in her back, no. The hurt she felt was in her heart. Rose was her best friend, they had years of friendship, a connection and bond to prove it. So if that was true and Rose was ok, why would she refuse to go back home-well, the academy- and stay with her? She had promised to be there for her, not only as a guardian, but as a best friend.

"You're lying." She hoped he was.

Adrian shook his head in denial. He patted the pockets of his leather jacket to search for the cigarettes pack, but he found none. Oh God, he needed a cigarette in moments like this. "I want her back too. Why would I lie about that?" When I'm the one that needs her with me and misses her this badly, he wanted to add. But decided to say no more.

Her chin trembled, realizing that Adrian was right. She was on the verge of tears. The information finally striking her, she may not be dead, like people in the academy said. But she wasn't coming back for her. She had broken her promise. Her heart ache just at the thought. Strong, long arms hugged her shoulders. And she responded by doing the same in return. "I miss her." she whispered.

"I miss her too." Adrian replied. He felt the front of his shirt becoming wet, he didn't even need to pull away to take a look at it because he already knew why his shirt was sopping wet in the front. She was shedding tears for her lost friend. He tightened his arms around her, rubbing her back gently.

They stood together like that for minutes. The cold night wrapping itself around them two. The crickets were slowly, but surely, silencing. The wind picked up, making Lissa's blond hair go to every direction it could. Adrian brushed it gently with one hand, making sure she didn't look like a wild animal. Guessing she wouldn't like that, he thought. Everything was quiet and comfortable until Adrian heard an "ahem" coming from his left.

"Well, well, well. Isn't this a lovely reunion?" Christian stood outside, you could only see half of his face because of the light that came from the inside of the academy's lobby, but it was enough to see the look of hurt, betrayal and anger written across his features. His arm was extended to the big door, his hand gripping tightly the door handle, which was the only thing keeping him from hitting Adrian at that moment.

Slowly, Lissa recognized the cold voice and blinked a couple of times to wipe away the tears that didn't seem to stop. She backed away from Adrian's chest, who losened his arms around her and hugged his elbows as if to warm himself. He looked down at his shoes as if they were the most important thing in the world in that moment.

"This isn't what it looks like." she said to Christian.

"That's so cliché. And then comes the part where you say 'I promise. This was just a friendly hug'" he rolled his eyes, waiting for her explanation and a fight to come.

Lissa walked up to him, her walk was just as graceful as her looks. Christian was mesmerized for a moment there, almost forgetting why he had been so upset about, until the palm of her hands met his cheek in a slap.

"You're such an asshole, you know." she screamed at him, her anger had given her strength and courage. He took a good look at her eyes and saw the redness and puffiness that were the results of crying. He forgot everything that had happened the past minutes and tried to caught her wrists but she waved a finger at him. "Don't even think about it."

Adrian felt like a third wheel in that moment. Looking at them fight triggered 2 emotions. He actually felt joy, not because they were fighting or because he liked Lissa, as Christian thought. But because he was tired of seeing everyone around him so damn happy and lovey dovey, well, seeing Christian and Lissa, who would always kiss and show off their affections to each other in front of him. Just another reminder he had nothing going on with Rose. And he felt bad for Lissa. She had to put up with this idiot's bitch fits every time Lissa and him (Adrian) had a talk or when they'd practice together. They were exchanging words that would make his mother's eyeballs pop-out of her head. Well, this was awkward. Adrian walked past them through the threshold and just as he thought it was a safe zone, someone grabbed him by his elbow. Great, what now? he thought to himself.

"Wait." It was Lissa. "We-" she paused to glare back at her boyfriend, then her eyes shifted tenderly as they returned to Adrian. "-are going to try and talk Rose out of it. Now" she said firmly.

Adrian looked up at Christian to question him. Christian's lips were pursed, biting the inside of his cheek. His nostrils were wide, Adrian thought he could see Christian's brain from there, nothing he should be jealous of. If looks were bullets, Adrian's face, or should we say head, would be nothing but holes. Adrian smiled maliciously at him then back at Lissa with a warm smile. "Sure. Let's go to somewhere more-" he paused. "-private."

With that said, Lissa giggled slightly and pushed him through the hallway, not once looking back at Christian.

There was darkness around her. Not as in absence of light, but more like the void of everything. Just pure emptiness. Rose tried to open her eyes, but she instantly shut them as she felt... salt water? Rose smiled at that. Her body was being jerked in every direction. She was swimming- no, not swimming, this was like being trapped in a washing machine for hours. Rose gasped for air as she was tossed by the waves onto the sand, scraping her back with the sand but she didn't mind. She didn't even remember what had happened back in the room where Nathan had killed her. All that mattered was that she was fine and in one piece. Her eyes shot open to stare at the beautiful sky above her. She had never admired it, until now. A baby blue colored the sky, the white clouds looked like white candy cotton.

Her eyes felt heavy and she closed them and let the waves crash against her, she had never enjoyed being in the beach this much. Everything was perfect. Until she heard someone calling her name.

"Shhh. Be quiet." she said out loud.

"Rose?" she heard two voices say in unison.

She tilted her head back with an arm raised over her face to keep the sun from buning her eyes. She saw two people upside-down. But the bodies were blurred.

"Who are you?" she squinted her eyes.

As the bodies came closer and sharper she stared wide eyes at them. How could Adrian and Lissa be here? This was her heaven. A private one. There should be a no disturb sign somewhere, she thought. She wanted to see them, sure, but she wanted them away from her. Didn't Adrian give her the message?

"Don't be silly, Rose." Lissa replied with a smile.

Rose sat up, indian-style, facing both of them. Her eyes seemed to be studying every inch of their bodies, her gaze kept going on back and forth between those two. "This dream sure sucks."

Lissa came to a halt and furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Rose shrugged in response. "There was supposed to be a hot guy rubbing sun screen on me, not the two of you, intruders."

Adrian snorted at her comment, while Lissa chuckled and sat down on her heels, feeling the warm sand against her skin. Lissa couldn't hide her smile, knowing Rose was fine. She was the same to them-funny, sarcastic Rose. She missed her best friend. This was just perfect.

Rose tried to smile, but her lips wouldn't obey. She frowned and shook her confusion away. "So what are you guys doing here?"

"Adrian taught me how to walk dreams now. Pretty confusing if you ask me." said Lissa, making a face. "We tried on Christian first, but... well you don't want to hear _that _story."

Rose wasn't even paying attention to Lissa's going on ramble. "You're kind of a lurker, huh?. I don't only get to be sucked in your head but you want to invade my peaceful moments now."

Adrian knew that there was something different about Rose. But he couldn't put a finger on it. Rose wasn't the kind to be rude to her friend. The one she had promise to be loyal to and protect her. If anyone dared to be mean to Lissa, Rose took the charge and defended her in the only way she knew. But this was different.

Lissa put her hand on her heart and the look of hurt on her face was nothing compared how she really felt. She crawled in her friend's direction and as soon as she reached her, she pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm so-so sorry. You know I don't mean to. I missed you so much. "

But Rose didn't return her embrace. So many thoughts and feelings were confusing her. A part of her wanted to hurt Lissa, wanted her to be in the greatest pain and be her worse nightmare. But another part of her wanted to cry to her, to hug her and protect her just like old times, to laugh and share stories with her. She shut her eyes tightly to stop everything.

The birds that were flying in the sky stopped in mid air. The waves weren't crashing anymore. Everything stopped. Adrian glanced around in confusion, he was the one to create the scenarios in the dreams. This wasn't any of what he had planned or wanted.

"Liss, are you doing this?" Adrian asked.

Lissa let go of her friend and met Adrian's worried gaze. "I'm not doing anything. What are you talking about?"

Adrian nodded his chin towards the ocean. The clouds above it, over the horizon, had darkened. It seemed that the shadows were eating what was once a beautiful sky.

"Both of you, go now. Leave me alone." Rose said to them. Her eyes were fixed on the sand. She lowered her face, letting her hair fall in front of her face like a dark curtain, her hands digging in the sand. She then had the strangest feeling in her gut.

"Wake up," she whispered to herself. "Wake up."

"Rose! Don't do that!" Lissa screamed at her. Her fragile hands gripped Rose's shoulders tight. Lissa shaked Rose's body. "Stop!"

Rose's torso was shaking. But not thanks to Lissa. Was she crying? Lissa wondered. "Look at me, Rose. Please, look at me."

An odd sound came from Rose's chest. A mix of cry and... Laughter? Slowly, her head raised, her eyes searching for Lissa's.

The color of Rose's eyes were changing in front of Lissa's. They were going from their natural brown, to red and the white of her eye turned to a pitch black; and the changes were going on over and over again. Lissa's green eyes widened in terror. She crawled backwards, not able to stop looking at those frightening eyes.

"Oh _princess_, are you afraid?" Rose scoffed and laughed loudly. The once baby blue sky was now pitch black. A storm coming closer from the horizon. This wasn't a dream. This was a nightmare.

"No. I love you, Rose. Stop it!" she wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes. Adrian came up behind Lissa, his arms under her armpits to stand her up. She was sobbing now at the sudden change of her best friend, she didn't understand how Rose would behave so strange and laugh at her.

Adrian tightened his arms around Lissa, "Let her go" he whispered to her, not looking away from Rose. His heart broke when he saw his little dhampir transform before his eyes. She didn't look like the pure, fun, selfless girl she knew.

She finally met his gaze, finally acknowledging and the laughter stopped. He looked at her with nothing but love and worry. And for a moment, short but it felt like centuries to him, he thought he saw a flicker in her eyes, showing him the real Rose that was beneath that mask. She tried to smile, but again, the smile wouldn't form in her lips. 'I'm sorry' she mouthed to him. And everything turned black.

And the dark clouds and sky that had formed above them, seemed to taint everything it touched. Every inch of the beach's sand turned black, the birds that were flying dropped dead onto the sand. And Rose. Rose's face was distorted in a mask of sadness mixed with pure evil. Adrian was stunned at the sight, he didn't know what was going on in the dream. He tried to change the scenario but nothing. The blackness didn't stop from slowly eating away everything it touched.

And then Lissa and Adrian were back into their own bodies. They were in Adrian's room, which smelled not in a pleasant way. You couldn't even tell what was worse, if the smell of vodka and other alcoholic drinks or the cigarettes he never stopped smoking. They were both sitting on the edge of his bed, one of his leg under him and the other dangled off the bed, while Lissa's were crossed on the bed, Indian style-the same position as Rose in the dream. Her hands were holding Adrian's long soft hands.

She tried to squeeze shut her eyes to regain control of her power and get back in Rose's head. Nothing. There was nothing to go back to. She glanced up to meet Adrian's gaze, to question him if that was normal. He kindly let go of her hands and pinched the bridge of his nose, whispering a faint "no."

Minutes had passed and they were still trying to get back into Rose's dream. Lissa was stubborn and needed to see her friend's face one more time. Adrian was just as desperate. He thought Rose had been in some kind of dreadful nightmare to change everything within the dream and actually kick them out. But they didn't know what was really going on.

The fact that they had gotten into her head was pure luck. God's gift to them, if you wanted to look at it that way. Because that moment, Rose being herself on the beach, enjoying the sand and salty water on her skin, was the last bit of humanity she left behind. The dark clouds were just a symbol of how Rose's soul was smudged and darkened by the loss of her life. Add to that equation Lissa's darkness, which she had sent more frequently in Rose's direction. Her soul-Rose's- was now in some kind of limbo. Leaving just a ghost of her behind. But not a ghost you'd be glad to see.


	6. Chapter 6

**When I'm done with this ff, I'll make a playlist and put it up in my lj. xD  
Oh and don't worry people. I'm getting to the whole Dimitri/Rose thing soon. :3**

_Fresh Blood by Eels  
__Ghost by Ladytron (Toxic Avenger remix)_

* * *

Four days have passed since Rose's turning. Rose was actually starting to enjoy this new life she had once hated so much. The housekeeper, whose name Rose finally remembered, Inna, wouldn't speak to her, not that Rose would understand anyway since she couldn't understand a word of Russian. Inna just did what she was told to do, all the time glaring at Rose.

She had ordered different styles of shirts, bottoms, shoes, all of that online and paid them with Nathan's credit card. Who would guess an undead would have one of those plastic cards without bringing attention to themselves. Nathan had made sure Rose got what she wanted, she was like his new pet, which made Inna's anger towards Rose amplify. But Rose couldn't care less about humans's complaints now.

Rose now had something she didn't have before. Freedom. What she always wanted and longed so bad it made her heart ache. But her heart no longer did it's regular beating. It just rested inside her ribcage, motionless... lifeless. She didn't mind anything. Finally, she was living the life she wanted. She was being pampered by Nathan. The one who had given her a second chance at life by exchanging blood.

The water felt warm against her skin. She tilted her head back, letting the water rinse off the shampoo from her head. Her mind was on the 9th cloud, she sang along the tracks, feeling happy, finally. Her trains of thought never went to Lissa, unless someone mentioned her name, and well those thoughts were of pure hatred and revulsion.

A loud knock on the door and the creak of the door opening made Rose sigh and turned off the shower. She already knew who it was. Nathan. He had no decency whatsoever. "What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" she asked dryly.

Nathan, who was 6'5 feet tall, just stood by the door, his eyes studying Rose's dark shadow from the curtain.. "Nothing. We're going out." He replied and left the room as fast as he had entered it before.

She knew what he meant. Grabbing a towel from the towel holder, she wrapped it around her body and stepped out of the bathroom. Rose walked into her new bedroom. The windowless walls were colored in a beautiful vermilion. She had a wide desk made out of oak and a chair in front of it on the wall that was on her right. On her left was her dresser and a regular closet filled with new clothes. And on the wall across from where she stood was the large, comfortable bed with a nightstand on each side.

She walked to her dresser and opened the drawers, pulling out brand new underwears. She slipped her panties on under the towel, tossing the towel on the floor as she put her bra on. She then went to the closet and picked out a pair of dark skinny jeans and a turquoise embellished tank. She dressed herself quickly and slid her feet in a pair of black velvet ballet flats.

Rose grabbed a brush to untangle her hair. When she was done, she grabbed a long black coat out and slid her arms in the sleeves, buttoning the coat as she made her way out of her bedroom to the hallway. Rose shut the door behind her and met Nathan leaning on the wall opposite to her bedroom's door. He was wearing black pants, black formal shoes and a navy blue shirt under his leather jacket. He whistled mockingly as his eyes registered Rose's frame from head to toe. "Not looking bad tonight."

"Tonight? So I look like crap every day?" She glared at him before walking in direction of the staircase and heard quick footsteps on the floor behind her. A hand grabbed her by the waist, spinning her around and moved with her to the wall.

"You know that's not what I meant." He glanced down at her as if she was his prey with a mysterious smile on his cool facade. Rose felt like a wild animal in a cage being in between his long arms that were pressed on the wall oin each side of Rose's head.

A smile formed on Rose's lips while her eyes studied Nathan's face and body. He must have been a moroi before he was turned. His blond shoulder length hair looked clean and smooth. Good, she thought. But he didn't look like the one her heart once beated for.

She was about to leave again but Nathan crashed his lips against hers. Her lips moved slowly with his in a gentle kiss. She was relieved she didn't have to worry about bad breath anymore. One of his hands went to Rose's right pale cheek, caressing her skin with his thumb. This didn't feel right. The only person who had touched her skin in such a sonsy and lovingly way, had always sent a jolt through her. But this wasn't the person.

This wasn't Dimitri.

Rose frowned and pushed Nathan away with such force he was caught off guard and was sent straight to the other wall.

"What's your fucking problem?" he snarled at her.

"You" she paused, giving him a cold stare. "are my problem. Now back off." Rose finished and went downstairs.

They-Nathan and Rose-had split up the moment they arrived in the city. Rose wandered around the bars that moroi always attended to, but tonight she decided to go to the nearest club instead.

Rose had made her way in using compulsion. A gift every strigoi had. She remembered the strigoi that had fed from Eddie and killed her friend, Mason. They used it to lure their prey, which was kind of ironic to Rose, since her no longer friend had used it before to make people adore her again when the rumours had begun a few weeks after Rose and Lisa arrived at the academy after 2 years of being missing.

Once Rose was in she searched for the easiest moroi through the crowd, not letting her head rise too high since there were several dhampirs in the building. 10 000 needles by Fat Segal was playing in the club, it was so loud it was almost impossible for Rose to pay attention to people's heartbeat. She sighed in resignation and shut her eyes, letting the music fill her ears and mind and she finally let herself go.

After long minutes of dancing by herself, Rose opened her eyes and saw a couple in the back of the club. They seemed happy-or at least the female did. The guy, probably a moroi, looked more like a desperate devil. Her gaze focused on him and walked a few steps in his direction but she came to a halt. No need to hurry, she reminded herself.

The stars aligned perfectly because moments passed and the tall moroi she had seen before glanced up to Rose but returned his attention to the girl he was with. Seconds went by and he looked up at Rose again as if it was the first time he'd seen her. He smirked and whispered something in the girl's ear-whose back was to Rose giving her a short kiss on her forehead.

Rose tried to hold back a grin. She was starving and after a long night, she had finally found someone worth the wait. He was walking towards her, leaving the girl with dark hair behind. The girl then spun around, her gaze after the moroi. She seemed confused for a moment and her eyes then shifted to Rose's face and the young girl's expression went from confusion to wariness.

Everything was a blur around Rose, there was nothing going on that would distract her. Until she felt someone's eyes on her, and her eyes drifted to that direction. She caught a glimpse of the girl whom the moroi had left. She looked familiar for a strange reason. Rose wanted to take a good look at her but people's head kept bobbing up and down, their bodies jumping, which blocked her sight.

She was so concentrated on that girl, she didn't hear the guy calling her before. "Hey!" he said as he leaned closer to her.

With an intake of breath, Rose looked up and her crimson eyes fixed on the green eyes that turned to shock the moment they met the red colored eyes staring back at him. That's when he knew. He took a step backwards and opened his mouth but Rose pressed a finger on his warm lips. "Don't say anything and follow me. Okay?" she said loudly. He was mesmerized by her and nodded his head, following Rose to the exit door that was located in the back of the club.

"I'd like to get to know you but..." Rose paused as they stepped out in the cold windy night. She turned to him and cocked her head to the side. He had green eyes, auburn hair, tall, cocky, just like any moroi. They thought they were the greatest things walking the face of earth, but really, they were just like Rose but worse. That's what Rose kept saying to herself.

"You know what? Nevermind." she said, answering her own question. Rose grabbed the guy by his head, bringing him down to her. She bared her sharped fangs and sank them deep into his neck, he grunted and tried to push her away. But it was useless.

The harder he tried to push her away from him, the deeper her fangs went and her grip tightened around him. The endorphins were now working their magic since he stopped squirming in her arms and let moans escape his mouth.

His heartbeat was slowing down. Rose breathed heavily, feeling herself now have more life running through her empty veins. She dug her finger nails from her left hand, in his shoulder, the other hand just pulled his hair tighter and drank more from him. She didn't feel satisfied. Picture yourself being at hot dessert. No wind. No water. No food. Nothing. You've been crawling for what feels like months to you, searching frantically for something to drink. Your throat has been dry for a week, but out of nowhere, a glass full of water appears in front of you. You drink it in less than 60 seconds and when you're done, you don't stop feeling the thirst. Your throat feels rusty. You just crave for more. Well, that is what Rose feels like every night since she was awakened.

He fell limp in her arms, with just a faint breathing and heartbeat. Rose pulled away and set him down on the cold ground. He was even more pale than what moroi usually looked like. He was handsome, but it didn't matter how good-looking you are, looks were not going to save anyone. Death wasn't picky about those things. "Sorry." she said to him although she did not feel sorry at all. Both of her hands went to the sides of his head, twisting it in her hands so fast that the 'cracking' sound that his bones made when they broke was barely audible.

She grabbed the body by the arms and dragged him to the large dumpster that was in the dark alley. His weight was as light as a feather to Rose. She picked it up and threw it as if it were only an object. Rose turned around, walking in the direction of the club's exit door. Rose wiped the blood from her lips with a tissue she had pulled out of her coat.

"Now I have to find that jerk and get him to pick me up before-" her mumbling stopped as she heard the door creak open in front of her. The girl that had caught Rose's attention stepped out into the cold alley. Her hair was dark with gold streaks, she wore a red sweater over her white knee-length dress, "Rolan?" the girl asked.

Rose furrowed her brows together the moment the girl locked eyes with her. There was something different yet so familiar about her, she knew she had seen her before. But she was sure she wasn't from St. Vladimir's, she could recognize almost every one who assisted there. "Do I know you?" Rose finally asked.

The girl blinked a few times before realizing who-or what- was standing a couple of feet away from her. She saw the color of blood in the iris of her eyes and backed away almost instantly. She said something in Russian, but the girl knew that the person before her didn't understand one bit because she just stared back at her. "Please, no." she begged again.

Rose snorted a laugh and shrugged a shoulder. "I'm not going to hurt you. I was just asking if we've met before."

Just when the young girl was about to answer, a loud scream escaped from her mouth as Nathan came from behind her, a hand on her forehead and the other in her chin, and sunk he fangs into her flesh.

Only when the girl locked eyes with her pleadingly Rose actually paid attention to the girl. She was definitely a dhampir, but not training to be guardian. Her face looked so young, she must have been in her teens. And her eyes. There was something about those rich chocolate brown eyes. The picture of Dimitri just came to her mind. A million thoughts ran through her mind but she gritted her teeth as the girl's screams now faded and became a soft moan.

Rose launched herself in the girl's direction. But her focus wasn't on her, it was on the person behind her. Nathan. She pushed the girl away and pinned him down to the ground, her hand gripping his windepipe tightly while the other curled into a fist and down in a second to connect with Nathan's face. But he was too fast and grabbed her fist in mid-air. His other hand went to her throat and sent her flying to a wall.

Rose's head banged against the brick wall. Something warm dripped from her skull and felt her hair being damped with her own blood. She cursed under her breath as she touched the back of her head with three fingers and looked at them afterwards. Rose stood up too fast and cursed again, as the light headed feeling slowed her down. Nathan shook off whatever dirt was on his shirt and ran his fingers through his blond hair as he made his may towards the young dhampir whom was laying on her back and up on her elbows. The expression of her face showed terror and Rose could smell fear emanate from her.

Déjà vu.

She was back in the cave. The strigoi looming over her lover. Rose was dumbstruck for a second. She tensed her jaw as she realized that the person on the ground wasn't her lover. But she still wanted the girl for herself. Rose didn't even know why this girl was so different from the rest. But her inner voice-the voice of reason that sounded like her former lover, Dimitri-told her to help her.

And that's all it took for Rose to run up to them and stand in between the blond strigoi and the helpless girl. "Don't." She warned him.

Nathan glanced in her direction, making an expression that said he was repulsed by her. "Stop getting in my way. What is she to you, anyway?"

Rose just blinked in confusion. A small part of her just wanted to throw the girl at Nathan and go to bed. But the other part told her not to. She wasn't sure what was going in her head. Maybe her subconcious was telling her something. But what? It didn't matter. Her inner battle stopped when she made her decision.

"Just give me a minute with her and then you can have her."

Nathan raised his eyebrows in defiance but soon relaxed, he rolled his eyes and exhaled noisily. "A minute." he said dryly and walked away, mumbling something about always being used even after being "dead".

Rose waited for Nathan's figure to disappear. She knelt down on the ground, in front of the girl who was trembling and covering the bite on her neck. "T-thank you." the girl stuttered.

Rose could smell the blood dripping from the girl's bite and hear her heart hammering in a rapid pace against her ribs. But she did her best to control the thirst. "It's ok. What's your name?" she asked. But the girl just stared at her as if Rose had grown another head. She raised her voice to make herself clear. "I asked you a question. What's your name?"

The girl gulped and answered. "Viktoria."

She was losing her patience. Rose, of course. "Viktoria what?"

"Viktoria Belikova."

Belikova? What were the chances? "Do you know anyone named Dimitri?"

The girl's brown eyes widened at the mention of her brother's name. And it all made sense in Rose's head. This must be Rose's punishment or just some kind of sick joke the Gods were playing on her. She had grown up without a father and an absent mother. Lost her freedom. Her friend had used her as a personal garbage can, just sending her darkness and her lover had chosen someone else over her. But this. This was just the cherry on top. Whoever was upstairs just dropped another present at her feet. Rose chuckled and grabbed the girl by her elbow, pulling her upwards.

"Well, this is your lucky night. You're coming with me."


	7. Chapter 7

_I wake up, it's a bad dream_  
_No one on my side_  
_I was fighting_  
_But I just feel too tired_  
_To be fighting_

_A Bad Dream by Keane  
I Want You Back by The Kooks_

* * *

They were in his bed. Rose in his arms, snuggling up against his bare chest. She drew circles on the arm that rested on his tomach with her index finger. He knew that if there was a heaven, this would be it. Rose in his arms forever. Not caring about the rest of the world. In their own bubble, the only people that existed and cared were themselves. He didn't want to waste any time with her.

"I love you." he said, brushing her hair with his long fingers. Rose looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest and gave him a sweet smile. "I love you too, Comrade." She pressed her soft lips against his chest, giving him little pecks here and there. Her mouth moved up to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses behind. Finally, her mouth stopped above Dimitri's but didn't kiss him yet, her sweet breath teasing his lips. "Say it again." she whispered.

And so he did. But not because she ordered him, nope. He said it because his heart told him to. He wanted to say those words over and over again until his voice turned hoarse or became non-existent. "I love you, Roza." He held her gaze. Those beautiful brown eyes staring down at him, showing nothing but love. The space that was between their lips was now gone as she leaned down to kiss him softly on the lips. Dimitri's free arm went to her naked back, holding her tighter. He heard her giggle as she pulled away to take a breath, giving him one last kiss on his lips.

He couldn't help but smile wide at her. He wanted to freeze this moment with her. He had wasted so much time before this, his only fear was wasting more or losing her. The hand that laid on his stomach looked for it's partner. For Roza's hand. He squeezed her hand lightly and brought it up to his lips. His eyelids shut and he inhaled her sweet scent, feeling intoxicated by it, and kissed her knuckles so softly. "I love you so much." he said with a sad smile.

He was expecting for her to say something. He could hear the old clock ticking away the seconds. Silence. He just met silence and her body suddenly turned cold against his. He was going to ask her if something was wrong but she then spoke.

"Why didn't you come for me?" her voice sounded far away, but he could hear it perfectly.

Dimitri's eyes shot open to look at her. Her eyes were bloodshot, her chin quivering and the expression of her face just broke his heart for the thousandth time again. "I want-"

"Why? Why did you let them get me?" She said, tears welling up in her sad eyes.

Both of his hands went to Rose's face to look at her closely, brushing away the hair that covered one of her beautiful eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut again, pressing his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry. I wanted to get back to you but..." he said in a whisper. There was a sad note in his voice that was so rare, only she could bring it out. His arms went to her small waist to hug her tightly, but his arms just met nothing and embraced themselves in the air. "Roza?" he asked, opening his eyes to meet her. But she was gone. His heart hammered against his ribcage faster. No, not this again. His fear was becoming real, again. He lost her. "Roza?" he asked again.

Nothing.

He sat up a little, his worried expression on his face never cracking. He repeated her name over and over again, sounding like a broken record, hoping she would appear. But he should have hoped for somethig else, because the next moment she was standing on the foot of his bed. She was wearing the clothes she wore the day they took her instead of him, her face was a mixture of emotions in one. Panic. Sadness. Horror. Hopelessness.

She shouted out loud his name and her screams were so high pitched, carrying all the emotions mentioned before, Dimitri had to cover his ears to stop the pain that he felt in them and decided to avoid her beautiful-yet different face. Looking down at the white sheets that covered him, something he was sure would be Rose-free, were now blood stained. He felt a tightness in his chest. This can't be happening. He repeated the words until he almost believed it. And the screaming stopped.

He sighed in relief and lowered his hands to the bed. Slowly, he looked up to where Rose was standing but she wasn't there. He blinked a few times, making sure of that. And she didn't appear again. He then turned his head to his side and met her cold eyes. "Gotcha." was the only thing she whispered.

Dimitri woke up, sitting upright almost immediately. His breathing was ragged and looked around for any sign of Rose. But he knew better. He knew she wouldn't find her. He laid back on his bed. He covered his eyes with a hand and the mattress beneath him started shaking a little. It wasn't because of an earthquake. It was him. Several tears rolled down the sides of his face, he was sobbing hard, his heart aching for her. This was the reason why he didn't like to sleep now. Because he knew that everything was his fault. And God wanted to reminded him of it. Wanted him to remember how much pain he had caused to the only woman he'd loved, besides his family, of course. So he knew that whenever he slept he would have these damned dreams all the time.

They weren't nightmares. That's what he said to himself. A nightmare would be something you feared. Something that shook you to the core in your sleep, making you want to escape and run for your life. Rose didn't scare him. She was like his personal angel. But she haunted his dreams. That's why they were damned. Every dream that involved Rose, was like a blessing to him. To him, Rose was the perfect woman. His perfect match, even if there was a gap in their age difference. The dreams that were about her, he cherished them, but they all ended the same way. Her blaming him for not saving her.

A week had passed since his failure to himself. And Rose. People in the academy, well the students, wouldn't stop the rumors about her being a coward and running away, and that the guardians had just covered her. It made him angrier since it was the exact opposite. It was harder for Dimitri, since he was her mentor, he spent every morning training her. So he had every morning to himself. Alberta kind of guessed what was going on with him, but never commented on it. And now he had to guard the academy, the wards were still weak so they had to be extra-protective.

Minutes went by and Dimitri's body stopped shaking. His tear-ducts were now dry and empty. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands. The alarm went off at 8 in the morning and he didn't measure his strength when he hit it, so he broke another alarm. The third in less than a week. Great, he thought and got out of the bed and straight to the bathroom.

Once inside, he looked at himself in the mirror for a brief moment. The were dark circles that hung below his eyes, they were bloodshot from crying and his hair was a mess. Rose wouldn't like it, he though to himself and felt a s picked he toothbrush. He applied toothpaste on it and brushed them quickly. He spat in the sink and went to take a cold shower.

After cleaning himself up, he got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his lower waist and grabbed another one for his hair. He rubbed the towel against his hair to dry it and headed to his bedroom, foot behind the other.

There was a knock on the door. Only guardians were allowed in this area of the building, which was guardians's bedrooms. So it must be either Alberta or Jean at this time in the morning.

He sighed and opened the door in a quick swift, but what his eyes saw weren't Alberta and Jean but...

"Dimka!" said the excited female voice as she threw her arms around his torso.

Dimitri was stunned for a moment. How could she be here? he asked himself. He patted her back in a friendly way and pushed her away gently. "Natasha. What are you doing here?" he put the towel, he was dryinq his hair with, around his shoulders, covering his naked chest.

Natasha, whom was Christian's aunt, gave him a big smile before watching the figure in front of her. Her cheeks flushed and turned around, facing the door. "I can come back later." she said, her hand reaching out for the doorknob.

"Wait. Just let me get some clothes on." With that he went to his drawers, pulled clean boxers out a pair of socks. He grabbed the clean guardian suit that was laying on his couch, tucking it under his arms as he went to the bathroom to put the clothes on.

Minutes passed and he walked out of the bathroom to find Natasha sitting on the edge of his bed, reading one of his western novels. "I didn't know you liked these stories, Dimka." she said as she flipped through some pages. He ignored her comment and headed to the sofa. He sat down, slipping his feet in his black shoes. When he was done, he ran his fingers through his shoulder length hair and sighed. "So what brings you here?" he asked for the second time.

She shut the book and placed it on her lap. She smiled at the younger guardian that sat ont he other side of the room. "Hm someone woke up in a cranky mood." she didn't answer his question, again. Dimitri smiled politely at her, rested his elbows on his knees as he leaned closer as if he could make himself sound crystal clear. "I'm sorry. I'm just surprised to see you here. Are you here visiting Christian?"

"You haven't heard, huh?" she asked and stood up, walking over to where Dimitri was and sat down on the couch next to him. "St. Vladimir isn't safe for any royal. So we're all going back to the Court and I'm here to bring Christian with me." she said as a matter-of-factly.

"_We_? Mind explaining?" he gave her a questioning look before adding a warm smile. "The queen's nephew, Adrian, The Princess and her guardian, Christian and myself are going to the Court." she tried to hold back a winning smile.

Dimitri stayed there motionless, the wheels in his brain working at fast speed going to only one conclusion. "So when are we leaving?" he faked a smile as he questioned her, not really wanting to go anywhere unless it was to find Rose. But he didn't know where exactly that was.

"In two hours exactly." she replied, standing up to leave. "Oh, and I heard about the strigoi attack. I'm sorry about your student." The moment she mentioned the attack by the strigoi, Dimitri's gaze shifted to the floor, avoiding her face. "It's okay. Mind give me some time to pack?" He didn't look up until he heard the door creak open and shut in guilt he felt over losing Rose, never lifted his shoulders. People always commented about how brave Rose was. Brave for giving up her life for a fellow guardian. They-the guardians except Janine Hathaway-pictured Rose as a heroine. But for Dimitri, she was stupid. Stupid for going back there.

An hour and a half later. Dimitri was folding his clothes on his bed, his luggage on it with some clothes and 2 pairs of shoes in. Packing was actually distracting him, which he was thankful for. No thoughts about Rose, guardian duties, evil strigoi. Nothing. Until he felt a bump inside the pocket of the jeans he was folding. Frowning, he shoved his hands in the pocket and registered the small place with his hand. He felt something thin and cold against his fingertips. His fingers curled around it and pulled the object out.

His breathing slowed down, so did his heartbeat, as his eyes stared at the silver locket. The locket Victor had given to Rose, wich was charmed and caused Dimitri's and Rose's feelings towards each other intensify into lust. He didn't even remember keeping the locket. Dimitri just smiled sadly at the memories and clasped the locket around his neck, keeping it under his shirt. He was staring at nothing, lost in his own thoughts until he heard his phone vibrate on the nightstand.

Dimitri went to pick it up on the third ring, not knowing who to expect. "Belikov." he answered. He could only hear someone crying, mumble something he didn't quite make out. "Hello?" he asked, hoping the person on the other end would reply to him.

"Dimitri..." he heard the woman say in between cries. He would recognize her voice anywhere, no matter how far away she was. "Mother? Is that you?"

"Your sister... Viktoria." she managed to say. "She's gone."

Losing a lover is bad. Horrible. It's like if you were the last of the species and now you're alone, wandering the face of the earth looking for your soul mate. But losing a family member is worse. He would understand if he lost his grandmother because she was old, she had lived a good life. But her younger sister, whom had plenty of time ahead of her, was gone. The news felt like a bucket of ice water being poured on him. Bad news, after another one. He dropped the phone and immediately bent down to pick it up, but he stayed on the cold floor. "What happened to her?" he finally asked.

He heard his mother sniffle on the other end before she answered him. "She-she just. Nikolai said that they had an argument and she said she was going to go to a party with her new boyfriend. Can you imagine? She never said anything about the boy. Nikolai told me his name, but-" she paused as she try to recall the young man's name. "His name was Ronald or Rolan. I can't remember. I-" she cried again. Dimitri fought back the urge to cry and run out of his room to go to his hometown. He just wanted to be there for his family and hold them tightly in an embrace and then find his sister.

Someone knocked on his door twice. He glanced at it then at his shaking hand. "Dimka..." his mother whispered to him. "I will find her and get her back." he promised. He felt a lump form in the back of his throat and gulped before adding. "I love you, mother." "I love you too, son. We miss you." she said.

He shut the phone and got up on his feet. He stuffed his belonging in his luggage and zipped it close. Another knock came from the door. "Guardian Belikov?" the person asked. His hand went to the locket that was now warm against his skin, his eyes staring into space. "I promise I'll find you. Both of you." he said in a whisper to no-one but himself.

Dimitri went to the door and opened it. Alberta stood before him with a straight face. "They're waiting for you." She frowned a bit as she saw the puffiness in his eyes, hers softened in sympathy. Ever since the news about Rose sacrificing herself for her mentor went around in the academy, Dimitri had chosen to guard the school in the morning, when moroi barely got outside. But she didn't know Rose wasn't the reason for his crying now. "Hurry or you'll be late." and with that she turned to the direction where she had come from and left.

He did as he was told. He grabbed the luggage and walked to the door, his long fingers around the doorknob about to open it. Dimitri turned his head around to look at his empty bedroom. It didn't look like nor feel like his. It didn't feel like home No memories there. He missed his family more than ever, but he knew it was his duty to be a guardian and protect the princess. To protect her was just another reminder of Rose. He sighed heavily at that. Everything here, in the academy, and the people that attended it, reminded him somehow of his lost love. This was a living hell.

After dropping the princes at the Court, where she would be safe, Dimitri would go to Siberia and search for his sister. He had lost Rose, she could either be one of them or just dead, but he wouldn't let the same fate happen to his own blood. Not his baby sister.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I am so, so sorry. I had a really big writer's block as you can tell. I had so many different ideas about how the story should go, but I hated them all one day and deleted the chapters. But I'm getting to it now. So, no worries. :)**

**oh and idk about this chapter, I was so exhausted by the end (1 am!) I just sort of typed things up and I think (no, I know) that I've missed commas somewhere. Sorry about that. lol ;| I'm awful, I know. **

* * *

Home. The cold air had slapped his face as soon as his feets made contact with the land that had once been his home. Dimitri's feet were almost flying on the cold pavement as he left the Siberia airport. He walked for a good 20 minutes, clutching duster close to his body to keep his body temperature normal and prevent hypothermia, when he finally reached a cheap-yet very modest and clean-motel.

He slung his barrel bag over to his other shoulder, stretched his limbs and they all had a cracking sound along with his neck. It didn't matter if he wasn't on a moroi mission, his senses were always alert and he always studied his surroundings even if he knew it by heart. His eyes scanned his surroundings, nothing called his attention except for the innocent local ice cream parlor across the street which was enough to trigger old memories hidden in a very dark corner in his mind.

When he was just another Dhampir in training, the only thoughts that came across Dimitri's adolescent mind were _I can't wait to get out of here and fulfill my purpose in life... I need to see more than this... Protect moroi and humans... Protect them like I protected mom... I need to get out of here_

If only things had been that simple.

He loved his family, he really did, but there was always something whispering from the corners of his subconscious. Messages that were all too tempting for him. He had been in a some ways seeking for vainglory. There was nothing wrong about that, he thought, when he was merely 14 years old. In that head of his, filled with cowboy stories, with action figures that saved the town from bad guys with big guns and got themselves a happy ending. He longed that.

But Dimitri was a boy just looking at one side of the coin. After graduating at 18, he was sent on his first mission with his good friend and combat partner, Jan. They had been assigned, along with another recently graduated Dhampir and one official guardian, Marina Dorow, to do a really simple task.

The assignment: Protect the 2 Glazov girls with their respective dates. What was it about? Freezing the water in spurlark lake and skate for about 2 hours until the clocked ticked 10 pm, which was the signal for them morois to go to thew new Swenson's bakery and Ice cream parlor. (The lovebirds wanted to walk there, so walking is what they did).

Why moroi insisted on going out in public at 11 pm knowing for a fact they were in danger, specially in places like Russia, Dimitri didn't know. He hadn't had a serious relationship with any female before to compare this courtship with.

He hadn't had a relationship at all. Period. What he had had with one novice from St. Nicholai Academy never went far from stolen glances, practice moves (combat moves, that it) together, short but sweet kisses frequently interrupted by "aww"s from her friends.

Dimitri had been mulling this over for no more than 10 seconds, when a very low, almost inaudible hiss came from behind them. In an instant, he turned around and regretted wasting those seconds thinking about himself.

4 strigoi had gathered behind them. Their cold masks pulled into an evil grin, a couple of them sniffing the air and something-or rather the moroi they (the Dhampir guardians) had been sent to protect-seemed to pleased their nostrils and taste buds. Jan, who was beside him, and Dimitri together pulled out their stakes and fought back as the strigoi lunged for them on attack.

Crunches of breaking bones filled the air, blood spattered on the walls and pavement, stakes sunk in between ribcages. Everything was going well. The adrenaline had pumped loudly and rapidly through Dimitri's blood system. It gave him more energy and strength. It had felt amazing. His first killings. He knew he had been really good, despite the few hits and scratches he had gotten. The power and control he had in the situation, he felt elated.

"Belikov!"

He had turned to guardian Dorow, expecting more strigoi around them but 5 bodies were scathered on the floor. The moroi were safe between the glass window of the parlor and behind guardian Dorow and the other new guardian. So what was wrong?

"Mmm-mm-mmmm"

_Oh no_, Dimitri thought.

"Haven't had a Dhampir in such a long, long time." A cold voice said. A female with long raven hair, awfully red eyes that seemed to come to life and blood dripped from her mouth. Jan sagged against her body, with such a dreamy smile and lost gaze, his body reacting to the endorphins of their venom. The hand gripped firmly his neck, more blood oozing from his neck.

He had been so caught up in his own fights, he never bothered to check on how Jan was doing. Jan wasn't weak, but he sure wasn't any stronger than Dimitri. He knew that. He knew he should've been faster and aid him. And the final result was that his friend had been caught and was about to die in hands of soulless empty vases.

And in that moment, for the first time on his life, Dimitri felt what raw panic was.

Dimitri wouldn't let anyone die on his watch. That, he was sure of. They were about 3 meters apart from him. It wouldn't have been difficult to just run and kill her, but he knew what could happen. A snap of Jan's neck could happen. Readjusting his fingers on his stake, his brain worked for 100 miles per hour trying to come up with a plan to get close to them without his friend getting killed and clean this place by killing that vile thing. Breathing steady, his body went from rigif from shock to loose and ready to kill.

"Now, let's not do something stupid," the girl-who appeared to be around 19 (how old she really was he didn't care) -said with a mocking smile. "Your fellows here did just murder my friends and partner in crime."

"Wrong." Dimitri replied. He knew what he had to do. "They-you-are already dead."

The girl laughed, an empty and hollow laugh, never taking her eyes off Dimitri. "Dead? No. Immortal." She moved her free hand up to Jan's cheek, trailing her long fingernails along his pale skin. Jan was too numb to feel the cut. "He's not bad looking," she looked down at Jan with look of ressignation on her face. "Maybe I'll spare his life."

And it all happened in a blink of an eye.

She had bitten down her wrist and pressed it quickly against Jan's awaiting mouth-letting her poisoned blood drip on his tongue- when Dimitri ran at the speed of light towards them. He had never felt such fury in disgust before then. Dimitri shoved aside Jan's body and grabbed the girl by her neck before she had time to run.

"He will be awakened soon," she managed to choke out and laugh. She had the nerve to laugh in his face. But not for long hence he staked her directly into her heart, killing her in an instant. His attention then drifted to his friend, who was lying on his back and breathing sharply.

Dimitri had moved very quickly to where Jan was. His friend temperature had lowered quite a bit, and so did his breathing. He knew what was the next step. Once you became a strigoi, you were as good as dead. They all had been taught Strigoi didn't have a soul and what remained of them was mere darkness.

No one deserved that.

Not his friend.

He managed to say in a low whisper: "I'm sorry."

Jan's crimson-colored eyes flew open at his words as if it had been a welcoming into this world.

Except, that was no welcome.

That was a farewell.

And just like that, he had driven his stake right into his friend's non-beating heart.

People died every day. Specially in this work field where you could die any day. He had dealt with that fine. Dimitri was no cry-baby, but he couldn't help feeling this new emptiness starting to claw inside of him. He was his friend after all. The rational part of his brain told him it hadn't been his faul. And it really hadn't been, you couldn't be protecting the Moroi you were assigned to protect and babysit another guardian in a fight. That didn't take away his guilt though.

So, ever since that day, Dimitri promised himself to have no more distractions from the on. He promised himself he would be the best guardian out there.

He had let the scum of his father abuse his mother. He then had let his friend die. Those mistakes, he could bear.

The new "rule" he had set up for himself at that time seemed quite appropriate. No emotional attachment to anyone would occur in the future. Excluding his family, of course. Doing this, would prevent him from lots of internal troubles in times to come.

Ironically, all those rules and sky high barriers had become usless and long forgotten the moment he met Rose Hathaway.

She had captured him the day he met her. Those big brown eyes that shot daggers to whomever came nearby the princess Dragomir. She had been protective of her friend to a whole new level. She was always greedy to learn combat moves to become the best Dhampir in this generation. That was dedication. Rose was selfless, fierce and determined. Those were only a few out of thousands of qualities and virtues she had.

Dimitri could define Rose in one word. Perfection.

She was perfect.

_Was_.

Past.

Not present.

He felt a pang in his heart immediately. Rose wasn't a part of the world anymore. Not the living world anyhow.

One of Dimitri's worst fears was having to re-live killing someone he cared about. Jan. And now Rose. There were only 3 possibilities when it came to her disappearance.

a.- Somehow, Rose had survived the attack and ran away.

We could scratch that, knowing for a fact that Rose would never escape and leave Lisa behind.

b.- She died and her body had been covered by dusts or rocks.

Also impossible due the circumstances back at the time of the attack. There were no rocks big enough to hide the body of a small animal, let alone a 5'7 tall figure. Plus, all the guardians had been sent to re-search the place in daylight twice and there was no trace of her (except the locket Dimitri himself had found).

c.- _They_ took her. They could've either turn her Strigoi or kill her. But, Strigoi never took a person (human or Dhampir) without having any special interest in them. And Rose could benefit them. She was close to the last Dragomir, a Royal. Lately, Dhampir and Moroi had been informed that Royal families were the main targets of a group of Strigoi around the world.

Dimitri would rather Rose dead than being one of them. She herself had said so once. Anyone would agree to that. That was the reason why he had to find her. To carry out their old promise. To see her one last time before she really became dust in the world.

He had to find his sister first. He could and would take care of Rose later. He would put an end to her existence himself. He needed to. He would search for her in every country if he had to. There was a strong determination in Dimitri.

For now, though, he would get some rest and wait for tomorrow to start looking for Viktoria.

Already in bed and fast asleep, he dreamt of the missing pieces of his life. Dreams of his family in Siberia. Dreams of Rose, alive, healthy, and cheerful. Dreams of red eyes and cruel laughs. All of it intertwined.

Dimitri was dead as doornail in his sleep, too tired from the long flight. If he had stayed up for another hour, he would have listened to the same laugh he loved and knew so well just outside of his window.


End file.
